Now this is the most inventive spam post I’ve seen yet.

“I found your site on yahoo and thought I would drop by and say hey. I like the way your blog is set up. I¡¯ll come back later. I have to go walk my dog right now and take them to potty.”

That’s pretty damn creative. Makes you feel almost cozy and neighborly.

I also like the ones that are very complimentary. At first I thought, “Who the hell are these people? Nobody reads my blog.” And the spam links were very small and discrete. Then I noticed they all had the same thing in common, they were TOO complimentary. In other words, serious butt kissing, brown nosing.

But I’m still not posting your damn spam.

Why is there is so much bad furniture? I’m not talking about bad style, although there’s plenty of that, but comfort.

Seriously, it’s not hard or expensive to make something comfortable. And yes, I mean being able include almost all body styles.

I learned what “ergonomics” was in high school. High school! Is this too hard a concept to grasp? Holy crap! Do those designers actually even use their own creation? Of  course they don’t! If they did, they’d want to shoot the stupid SOB who designed them… as soon as the blood started circulating again and the pins and needles feeling went away.

And do decorators for commercial spaces ever test the furniture they buy? Again, of course they don’t! Hey I know I’m not going to be spending all day in the lobby/reception area, but come on! And you paid how much for this pretentious instrument of torture?! No wonder you have to lay off people!

Which brings me around to that new trend, “hotdesking.” Which means “we really don’t give a damn about you or your needs to get the task done we’ve assigned you.  Besides, doesn’t everybody type sitting on a backless stool with your coworker 3 feet away using the same phone that Bob (who has a cold) used? Think of it as the internet cafe! Now go close that million dollar deal. With cheap cafe furniture.”

And bad coffee as well.

What’s scary is that the human race has been building furniture for, what, a few thousand years?! And we still can’t get it right?

Makes me wonder how long it REALLY took to get the wheel right.

Just a few years ago I was telling anybody who would listen to my ranting and raving that Google was going to take over the planet.

Their free applications were amazing! And free! Google Earth, SketchUp, Docs, Gmail, Picassa, Sidebar, Android, Analytics! The list is long. And free! (did I mention free?)

And then they fucked up.

Google Earth’s latest update is  a resource pig and, AND, has a goddamn  Active X 10 flaw that my fairly new video card can’t handle. (yes I updated the firmware, duh)

Picassa will do everything you need for everyday photo editing except, EXCEPT, resize. WTF?!

SketchUp 7 is buggy as hell. Good going there guys. Only the best 3D design software I’ve ever seen and you fuck it up. Oh yeah, and it’s another resource pig as well.

Sidebar may or may not work these days. Kinda iffy on a good day. Maybe a gadget will work, maybe it won’t.

But worst of all, have you ever noticed all the fucking tracking, spyware crap that now loads when you use ANY Google service or program. Oh yeah, you damn well better believe the mothership is watching you. Not to mention what a FUCKING BANDWIDTH HOG IT ALL IS.

So way to go Google! You, like all of the other dinosaurs before you, have successfully snatched defeat from the jaws of victory! I salute you!

Phhhllllrrrtttt!!!

Lightscribe. What a cool concept! I say concept because it’s really not ready for prime time.

First, the actual image that is burned in the disc is… faded at best. If you try to use anything other than high contrast, black and white images, forget it. But it’s still a lot faster overall and more permanent than paper labels.

But… it’s an HP product. I think that only Kodak writes the worst fucking software for their products and then wonders why they have so much support problems. Really?

My bitch today is that it’s quit working out of the blue. That’s right, for no apparent… wait, that’s not right, for ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON.

I’ve used it many times, and it worked without a hitch. Went to use it this time and it didn’t even exist. That’s right, completely disappeared.

O.K. maybe if I install the update pain-in-the-ass update I should be fine. Nope. Update chokes on some arcane error, rolls back, and as an added bonus, it DELETES the old software as well.

Fucking, fucking brilliant.

So where does one go for tech support. Why… to the Lightscribe website of course! (Bet you thought it would be HP and it’s bloated POS website, didn’t you?) And how do you go about actually troubleshooting your problem?

First you search the Knowledge Base. Of course, your problem is not found. This just leaves the dreaded Forum as your last hope.

Goddamn Google is faster.

So thanks HP. You stupid fuckheads. Thanks for nothing. I still haven’t found the solution.

Thank god I have nothing better to do. Oh wait…